Mildred and Earl

Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her husband

Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly,

she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision

to shoot herself in the heart since it was

so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable

and a burden to someone,

she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location.

"Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is

just below your left breast.

Why do you ask?"

She hung up without answering.

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital

with a gunshot wound to her knee.

I can relate, can you?